If I died right now.

I know most people have probably thought about it before and at this time in my life I’ve been thinking about it the most. Teenage years are so fucking hard and not many realise because they say ‘you don’t know anything yet’ or ‘you’re still young’. But if I can’t deal with all the bullshit in my life right now, how do you expect me to survive the rest of my life?

So now I wonder; what would happen if I dropped dead, right at this moment? Who would be the first to know? Who would be the first to care? Who would care?

I always wonder whether they’d bother to read all the stuff I write. All the stuff hidden and stored in a battered dell laptop and a newly bought Samsung phone. All the stuff hidden between dressers. Crumpled bits of paper and the like. Would they search my belongings for clues or would they discard what’s mine like they discarded me. Would they feel sorry? Or would they utter good riddance under their breath as they place flowers near my name? Where would they pinpoint all the blame?

Will anyone let my ‘friends’ know? If so how? Would they call or would a simple text suffice?

Would they be proud of what I’ve achieved or would they shudder and wish they’re daughters won’t turn out the same?

Will they open the many files and hundreds of memories stored? Will anyone go through each and everyone one of my pictures and documents and what of my twitter account? My Fangirl life. Will they cherish the fact that I lead another crazy life and turned to my idols in times of despair? Or would they widen their eyes in disbelief and stare?

I wonder, for there is much to wonder about. There is much among the abyss of life.

But most of all I wonder whether my legacy will remain? Or whether I’d just be another dead mundane…?


Reeves Painting By Numbers Experience

reeves 3 1

Last year I bought one of these painting by numbers sets just for fun thinking it would be easy and quick to do. Oh, how I was very wrong. I started it this time last year and it became very tedious. Therefore, I must have crammed it in the back of a draw to complete next time.

Recently, I found it after clearing out my desk draws and thought about finishing it. Although the picture looks wonderful, I was having trouble mixing in many of the colours provided in little tubs. Initially, I painted on the colours that didn’t require mixing then I coloured in the more difficult areas. The turnout wasn’t so great.

reeves 2 2

Slowly, I could see that I needed to mix colours more and it was taking up so much time. Also, why couldn’t they give more than one brush? Washing the one brush after each use proved very tedious.

However, my determination to finish triumphed.

reeves 4 final

Once completed, and my fingers were raw red from opening up so many tubes multiple time, I realised that just colouring in the required areas wasn’t working out the best. I had to fix things up a bit by mixing more and outlining trees etc. But I became too lazy to do that and can honestly say I don’t think I’ll be purchasing another one of these for a very, very long time. Perhaps never.

Let me face it: I’m so not good at painting by numbers. Maybe I’ll just stick to painting my own things.

‘Fangirl’ by Rainbow Rowell REVIEW

Fangirl for blog

When I first bought Fangirl I was absolutely thrilled to read it since I had already read two other books by Rainbow Rowell: Attachments and Eleanor & Park. These two I adored. Therefore, you can understand how delighted I was when I got my hands on a copy or Fangirl. Also, there’s the fact that when I first heard of this bestseller I thought that I’d literally be reading a book about myself.

However, Fangirl is a book derived from real life (which I expected) and therefore it isn’t a book for escape merely enjoyment.
My preferred reading is generally fiction as it provides the escape needed from real life. Consequently, after the initial beginning stage where I thought the book was headed to a great start, I felt as though the book was becoming slightly tedious. But no, that didn’t stop me from reaching the end of the book.

Instead, I ploughed my way through it and constantly thought ‘maybe I should read Simon Snow (the story constantly mentioned in Fangirl)’. But once I searched the story up and found out that it was fictional I was devastated.

There wasn’t a main, massive ‘bang’ of an event revealed through the book, which I was greatly accustomed to. Instead there were general, small events which occur through everyday life. I guess that was the plot of the book.

To summarise, if you are a dystopian loving reader (like me) you might want to give the book a go. However, I can’t guarantee your interest. But if you love the whole ‘real case’ scenario this is a book worth your time.

Goodreads link to the book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/19174917-fangirl

Goodreads link to my profile: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/27118401-siredhybridxx

I rated the story 3/5 stars on Goodreads.

‘Red Queen’ by Victoria Aveyard REVIEW

It has been a while but here’s my review post (I will be posting more reviews):

Red Queen

I received this book for free from one book lane at the Insurgent premiere in March and I was ecstatic at receiving it – I mean who wouldn’t be at the chance of being given a free book?

However, now that my exams are over I plucked the book from my bookshelf to start reading. From the blurb and the first few chapters of the book, the feeling of ‘been there, done that’ adhered to me. Through Mare I was reminded of Katniss and throughout the book various scenes relayed the story of The Hunger Games. Both Mare and Katniss are seen as the “face of the revolution.” I understand the need to draw inspiration from other sources and overall, I enjoyed this book very much. Also, the ‘mutation’ side reminded me of Divergent. I guess right now these books are the hype.

Victoria Aveyard’s writing proved captivating and intrigued me to continue the story until the end. The plot twist (which I will not reveal, since I don’t like spoilers myself) really got to me. And I applaud Victoria Aveyard in writing an explicitly fascinating story.

Lastly, I am delighted to say that I am awaiting 2016 and 2017 for the next two books. Honestly, I NEED to know what happens next, although it may be slightly predictable. I have an obsession, it seems, with these types of books.

Goodreads link to the book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22369406-red-queen

Goodreads link to my profile: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/27118401-siredhybridxx

I rated the story 4/5 stars on Goodreads.

My Wattpad Story.

I realised currently that I haven’t told many on here that I started writing and posting my own story on Wattpad. Wattpad is a platform where people all across the world are able to read and share their own stories for everyone else to see.

On Wattpad I have read many great stories written by so many talented people and I’ve always thought about writing my own story. But school was always a problem for me because with all the revision and homework I didn’t have much time for myself or my interests. Then one day I got thinking and thought why not write a story because my teenage years won’t be here forever so, as well as doing well in school I might as well live my young life too. This led me to writing a teen fiction in my little bits of spare time that I have. On the 1st of January I posted the first chapter of my story and have been writing and posting ever since then.

Generally, I don’t think I’m very good at writing but to hell with that – I don’t really have to be exceptionally good at it. I guess I should just enjoy it.

And this is why I’d like to share my Wattpad story with everyone on here today. My story is just a little, short, teen fiction that I write in my spare time and I enjoy hearing responses and thoughts from readers. Therefore, I would be delighted to have you read my story and let me know what your thoughts are on it.

My story is titled “Dream Bad” and here’s the link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/29690706-dream-bad

Please check it out and let me know what you think. x

Bite the Ballot

Recently, I was invited to a speech delivered by Matthew Barzun, the ambassador of the US embassy in London. To say I was excited was an understatement. Politics and foreign policies were some things which I never really showed much of an interest in during school time. However, outside of school my interests ranged from the weirdest things (not that politics is weird). But I never fully understood politics. Although, that was probably due to the lack of knowledge I had of it and the lack of time to actually sit down and research about it. Of course I knew who the prime minister is but the values and beliefs he had? Not so much.

The speech itself and the issues we talked about during the time we had, intrigued me. And from then, a couple of weeks later, the group of us who were present at the speech were invited to the US embassy in London itself, amongst other guests who were older than us. We were invited to a session for the ‘Bite the Ballot’ scheme enabling and encouraging young voters.

I’ll skip to the main point here: some of the ideas and issues announced at this Q&A session had me thinking and agreeing. The CEO and social activist, Michael Sani mentioned the lack of education in politics in schools, saying that he believed that if young people were educated in this sector, they would perhaps be more involved in the politics of our country.

I completely agree with his view on this matter. If young people, like myself, were educated and informed about political systems, we would understand enough to have a voice in it. Because it is our future and our generation that will be effected by the political decisions made. I would love to have a say or even thought, on who I would like as the next election winner. But I’m too young to vote. But those that can should, because it’s the future of your country, you should have a say in it.

I understand that politics is important but I don’t know much about it. I personally don’t know enough to have a say in it. Without prior knowledge: I stand nowhere, I have no voice in this matter. That, I believe should be changed.

Insurgent Premiere

I haven’t yet written about my visit to the insurgent red carpet premiere in London so I thought it was about time.

Insurgent is the second book of the Divergent trilogy (which were absolutely amazing reads). The last book had me bawling at 5am in the morning for hours, non-stop. They were honestly worth the read. Although, pretty similar to usual YA dystopia’s.

But back to my trip … when I heard that there was going to be an Insurgent premiere in London I jumped at the idea of being there to meet cast members I adore. At that moment I instantly checked my availability for the date and almost screamed once I knew I could go. Also, I searched up all the relevant information etc.

The next step was tackling my mother, whom I thought would never let me go. But guess what? She was totally fine with it! Phew.

On the day of the premiere I was really nervous about not getting to meet them and it was my first premiere so I was utterly lost. But twitter came to my rescue! I talked to a couple of friends who were also going and they helped me out a lot. Thank God for that.

I’m not going to give you all an entire rundown of my day, only what actually happened and if I even met anyone. Thankfully yes, yes I did. Tears of joy leaked my eyes when I managed to get my Insurgent book signed by Veronica Roth (the author). And then I got a poster signed by Shailene Woodley who plays Tris (I love her!). Unfortunately, I didn’t manage to get anything signed from Theo James (plays Four/Tobias) since he was getting called from miles away all the damn time! However, I did see him and I guess that’s what really matters.

Insurgent Premiere

The funniest thing happened to me towards the end of the red carpet premiere. In comes Conor Maynard and towards my direction may I add! After frantically screaming “Connor, Connor”, the two of us posed for a picture together. Only problem: my phone doesn’t have a front camera… so I flipped it around to use the back one. And guess what? My stupid self managed to somehow cut myself out of the picture. Haha.

Nevertheless, for my first premiere I was unbelievably ecstatic and would love to go a premiere again sometimes soon. I’m thinking Mockingjay? If there is one here: in London.